Saving A Marriage - Surviving An Affair
Can
someone imagine how the Clinton’s, Bill and Hillary, got by
through all the extramarital affairs that the former head of state was
accused of? Despite of the harsh criticisms against Mr. Clinton's
morality and the impeachment case against him, his wife was the one who
stood by him all this time after all the alleged acts of infidelity
that her husband committed against her. If we supported our partners like Hilary we'd go along way to saving a marriage.
Remember when Kobe Bryant
appeared on a press conference to deny the accusations of raping a
19-year-old hotel employee? It was back in 2003 when the basketball
star appeared in public sitting beside his wife while admitting that he
had a consensual sexual affair with the girl. While in the midst of
making all these statements, Bryant was being compassionately held by
his wife as she was showing her full support to her husband despite the
fact that she was cheated. Did that really mean forgiveness after all
the revelations that her husband did?
Extramarital affairs are one
of the most common reasons why marriage leads to breakup or divorce. It
all starts when a spouse engages in sexual activities with another
partner, which eventually puts a strain between the couple. However, is
there still a possibility for a reconciliation after a serious act of
infidelity has been committed by a spouse? Is saving a marriage possible?
Marriage experts think so. According to psychologist Rita DeMaria,
although it would be difficult to recover from the pain, a marriage can
still get by after an affair. However, there is a lot to
be done by both partners and this takes process and commitment in order
to do so. DeMaria explains that first of all, the unfaithful spouse
must be willing to end the affair that has troubled their them if they are truly committed to saving a marriage.
It may be so heartbreaking for
a spouse to find out about the affair of a husband or a wife but it is
always important to open a space for forgiveness for the unfaithful
spouse and eventually leave all the anger pain behind. DeMaria also
encourages more honesty between the couple rather than keeping things a
secret. It is important for the betrayed spouse to ask all about the
affair that was done by the other, and the unfaithful telling the other
all the truth about the affair. She added that the couple should come
to the point wherein it the affair can be discussed without the feeling
of pain. Hence, there can be no healing if it will never be talked
about. Saving a marriage is about honesty and taking responsibility for your issues.
It
is also advisable to rebuild trust before completely forgiving the one
who committed the mistake. On the other hand, psychotherapist Rachelle
Mand said that a study revealed that males are generally polygamous in
nature, while women are the opposite. According to studies, about 25
percent of married couples undergo sexual affairs. In order to keep the
flame burning in a relationship, Mand advises that it is essential for
both partners to be aware of each other's needs if they are really serious in saving a marriage. In this way, both
partners will not look for someone else to meet these needs.
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